Tag Archives: Dating

Date Night at Barlata

23 May

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We just moved so we have every excuse to eat out since we have not fully unpacked yet. Tonight we were at Barlata for some tapas. Pi Wen loves Barcelona and she’s always up for tapas. Marcus loves patatas bravas, so he’s always game for potatoes.

As we dined we eavesdropped on the young couple next to us. This is not as obnoxious as it sounds, because the tables were very close (of course, Marcus always uses that excuse when he observes people on a date.)  Over the din of Billy Joel and the Beatles, we discussed whether it was their second or third date.  Marcus said second, Pi Wen third.

Pi Wen’s ears perked up when she heard the lady recount her previous dating experiences. As Pi Wen pretended to take a long, focused stare at the basketball game on the corner TV, she tried to make out the details of the couple’s conversation, when suddenly Marcus asked “number two or three?”

Pi Wen instintively knew what Marcus was talking about, she said three because it seemed a little too fast to disclose dating experiences on a second date, which is usually just the first dinner date (after a first coffee date) and the couple would still be checking each other out. The lady would probably not reveal too much so she could maintain some sense of mystery…of course, this is the point of view of Pi Wen and probably influenced by her Asian upbringing.

Marcus was not attuned to these dating subtleties. He did notice that the guy was very gentlemanly and sweet, and that the woman was graciously polite.  Suddenly Marcus recalled a brief excerpt from an essay by Phillip Lopate he read long ago, about how men and women both play their roles in the courtship dance.  This couple–probably in their late 20’s–seemed to have some experience of disappointment in love, but were still very hopeful.

As we were preparing to leave, the couple–sipping wine from their fashionable Temescal glasses–discussed their Myers-Briggs types. The guy, “loves the Myers-Briggs!”  She does too.  This was all said a bit too eagerly, but that made it touching.  During early dates, the couple always agrees with each other. As time goes by, agreement is good but having mutual understanding and respect is even better.

We wish them well and hope they’ll make it to their 3rd or 4th date, and far beyond.

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